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Welcome Aboard Mates !

Most of the software engineering jokes are totally lame but they do make us curve our cheeks a little. Like this one “There are only 10 types of guys in this world, those who understand binary and those who don’t” a normal guy would start wondering about rest of the eight guys, but a software engineer would look at this joke, smirk a little (not because this is funny in any way) but because it gives him a pleasure to know that only he could understand it.

Well I don’t mean to say that there are no good jokes, but most of them would make us only smirk a little bit and a very few of them would make us go “ha”. And to be honest I don’t remember the last time I heard an IT joke that made me burst into laughter. I guess only dirty jokes have this super power to make you ROFL. (On a side note I once caught a friend of mine red handed sending “lol” with a very serious face.I confronted him and he said he had caught me doing the same thing several times.Before that I used to trust lols, but not anymore)

In my professional experience of working with the first ever software house of Pakistan, I have noticed that there are 10 (two) types of guys in IT, one who are passionate about their jobs, they love what they do, the derive pleasure from it, they enjoy the company of their colleagues, go out and have fun with them and take everything lightly. And then there is the other type who are always and always complaining(complaining is a light word I should use whining) about each and everything, nothing in this world can make them happy, no matter what they get, they will always find out a reason to complain.These kind of people are always unhappy and unsatisfied and wherever they go they spread they carry this aroma with them.
Now when you are working in the professional environment you have to interact with everybody in your team and out of your team. You cannot just tell somebody “hey man you suck, I can’t stand your presence around me, go hang around with your own gloomy types”. There is something special about these types of guys though, they are really easy to talk, because naturally people like to complain a little, so whenever they meet you and start complaining about something, you will find it pretty easy to find reasons of your own and hence the conversation would be prolonged and you will kind of bond with them.But when you meet the next few times and they still will be complaining about how the new HR policy sucks, and how the manager did this and that, you will have a sudden moment of enlightenment and you will realize “Oh so he belongs to the gloomy caste ! I have been tricked”. And now all of a sudden their presence would start to become a burden on you, and you would like to avoid them.

On the other hand the fun guys would also complain, but they would do it in a fun way.Like in IT industry late sittings are very common, I have seen guys staying in office for several days without even leaving for a second, sleeping in the manager’s cabin for few hours, and working on the critical issues rest of the time.But they derived so much sense of accomplishment and pleasure from the completion of the task, that they would proudly tell everybody in a very fun way how they spent three days in a row in the office and how they accomplished the task. They would feel satisfied at the end, everybody would know they contributed to the organisation and everybody would appreciate their efforts and I have seen the rules being bent for these guys.

These guys bond with each other really well and enjoy their time at work, they understand it well, that time won’t always give you what you want, so you better find a way yourself to spend it in a good way. They know that complaining and whining about things would only make things worse, it will destroy the tempo of all the team.If they have a concern they share it with the right person at the right time.

When I was going home for the first time after my job, I met a guy who was also working in the same industry, he was sitting right next to me, I like to talk to people so we started the conversation, and during the conversation he poses a question to me “Isn’t job tough, I am tired of this routine ?” and I responded without a second “I don’t even want to think about this, because the day I started to think so, that day my job would become tough for me” and he was taken aback, but I knew I had said the right thing.

Now to all the guys who have just graduated, I would like to extend my deepest sympathies, I mean congratulation you freaks, you have done a great job, you have made us all very proud, just remember do what you love to do, enjoy every bit of it, and I have already warned you about a specific caste of people, don’t be like them, ever.Best of luck for your futures.

 

 

 

 

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Being in his shoes

How difficult would it be if I told you to gather 1 million rupees? pretty damn tough right? Now imagine you had to gather tens of billions of rupees, what would you probably  do? You would go to people spread your arms in front of them, and ask for money. And you wouldn’t only have to go to a certain land, you would have to go to different areas, all over the world to gather that kind of money.Now consider you had other projects that also require tens of billions of rupees, would you have time left for doing anything else? No, you would be asking for money 7 days a week and 12 months a year.

Now consider all this money that you are gathering is not for yourself but for the social welfare projects that you are building. You would probably have the energy for gathering this kind of money for once, but would you do this every year, till you are alive just to see the smile on the faces of ordinary people?

And now consider you have opponents, and they are not just ordinary opponents, they are opponents with power, the strongest people in the whole country, and they are trying to malign you just for the sake of politics. They wrongly  blame you of being deceitful with people’s money, although you had never done so, and although you did all this with the purity of intentions, wouldn’t you be disheartened ? wouldn’t you be hurt?

You are doing all of this for others, not even for yourself, and yet the opponents are so disgraceful that they wouldn’t even leave your social work alone. But the important question is would you still go on and help other people in all this crisis? Even if you wanted to do this by heart, would you have the energy and stamina to still go on out of your way to help other people?

There is a man I know who does all of this.And I feel proud that he belongs to my country.Do you know him? If you do, I just want you to be in his shoes for few minutes in your imaginations.

 

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A heaven of our own.

earth-eye
Look deep into those beautiful eyes.

A massive elliptical ball, travelling at an unimaginable speed, revolving around its own axis, full of fresh streams of water, filled with lush green pasture lands and hosting various kinds of living beings is our home that we call Earth. When we were sent onto it from the heavens, we were aliens to this planet, but it didn’t turned its back on us, rather it provided us with shelter and food and let us flourish for thousands of years. We started our journey from Africa with two persons Adam and Eve, and now we are around 7 billion spread on every part of the world, thriving from its fresh waters, delicious fruits, energy and oxygen.

Yes there were some dark days when we suffered, there were days when alien objects like asteroids tried to wipe out our race, there were days when floods and rains from the sky drowned us, and there were days when the harsh snow took away millions of our precious lives, but the planet and its habitats went through all these tragedies together, and after every such incident, our planet helped us re-establish ourselves and grow even more than before.

earth

Homeland

We human need to realize that this earth has some rights on us as well. It has given us a lot of things, but it asks for something in return as well. It gives us oxygen but it has the right to breathe itself as well. It gives us shelter from the harmful rays coming from the sun, but it demands that we protect its ozone layer as well. It gives us food from the seas and from the lands but it also demands us to not disturb its ecosystem and balance.

The earth breathes my fellows as we breathe. We need to stop all the greenhouse gasses and CFCS being produced by the industries and the vehicles, or else the earth will choke and would no longer be able to protect us. The signs that are being seen by the scientists are alarming, all of us need to realize that the earth is asking for help. The change in weather all around the world, the rising temperature, the melting glaciers, the depleting ozone layer, and the extinguishing creatures all need our utter most attention. These are not the things to be taken lightly. All of us together need to be aware of this alarm and need to be ready to help our planet, because if we don’t do something now, we won’t even have a chance to regret. The effects of this careless attitude would be catastrophic. Global warming is a fact, it has happened before and it can happen again, unless we take these signs seriously and do the preventive measurements.

No matter what race, caste, region and religion are we from, we all have same kind of needs and necessities .We all need food, water, shelter and proper temperature. And this beautiful earth is common to us all, it is home to us all, we should forget all our differences and should work hard to make this earth peaceful and healthy.

african children

Beautiful habitats of earth.

 

 

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Stand up to the illusionists!

We always hear that Pakistan is a failed state, but the question is, have we ever wondered what makes a state count as a failed one? And more importantly what are the qualities required by a state to become successful and stable?

This is a core question that needs to be addressed. Only if we have an answer to this question can we move forward. And if we are still confused after 60 years of independence about this question, then only God knows what will help us. 

Every two years people get tired of the political systems and start to call it names. They start to hate the politicians for not giving them relief. And when the frustration rises further they began to call on army to take the throne by force. When the army comes into power they get tired of them and start to call on the political leadership to come back. This is the swirl that we are stuck in since the creation of Pakistan. This is the best solution that we come up with every time we face uncertainty.

What we don’t realize is that as a building needs pillars to stand upon, the state needs the pillars too, and the pillar of a state are its institutions. The institutions like Parliament, Judiciary, Education and Law enforcing agencies are the pillars of a state. When they are all standing parallel and equivalent to each other, on their respective locations, then and only then can a state become stable. If one of them swing from its position, or if one of the pillars eat other pillars to become a single giant pillar, the whole building collapses. And right now our pillars are in very bad position.

Our political understanding is so immature that we fool ourselves over and over again. We choose those same people over and over again who are the reason of our problems in the first place. We are like an audience which starts to believe that the illusionist performing on the stage has real super natural powers. Mere gimmicks and hollow slogans of the politicians lead us believe that they are our saviors.

We need to realize that our country will excel only if our institutions are corruption free, independent, and continuously improving. We need our police to be free of political influence, we need an honest man installed at top of the police department who would revive the respect of our policemen. We need a judiciary that is corruption free and provides quick justice. We need an education system that makes our kids grow up to compete with the rest of the world. We need somebody who can improve our hospitals and health facilities. We just need a person who knows how to build institutions.

 Next time the elections come, we need to ask ourselves only one question, would this person be able to strengthen our institutions? If the answer comes yes, we will stamp on his sign on the ballot paper, if the answer comes no, then promise today that we won’t be fooled by their emotional slogans, false promises and useless experience ever again. Long live Pak sir zameen.

 

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Satanic leaks

panama

Different reactions occurred in different parts of the world after the biggest leak of history (Panama papers) came to the light of day. The funniest however were from Pakistan. When the whole word was busy doing the conventional things like forming inquiry commissions and presenting themselves for accountability, the ministers in Pakistan took on the challenging of being different from everybody else and to defend themselves in a unique way.

Parvez Rashid, the information minister of Nawaz Sharif’s government, representing the ruling party, started his defense statement with a big smile and a sincere thanks to the almighty, he went on to say “We are thankful to the almighty for bringing the truth out, these panama leaks have cleared us from all sort of allegations, they have proven that Nawaz Sharif is innocent, and they have badly exposed Imran khan”. Don’t worry if you do not understand this statement, because apparently nobody else as well was able to interpret what Khan might have to do with the leaks.

And as one would hope, this strategy didn’t quite work, rather than sympathizing with Rasheed’s statement, the media got more suspicious and started to ask more questions. Mr.Parvez Rasheed was quick in realizing the sensitivity of the matter, and decided to change his defense policy right away.

He called for a press conference, and this time along with few papers, he brought the front line defender of N-League, Danyal Aziz with him as well. As usual with his smile and calm style he began to speak. This time he didn’t criticize Khan for leveling baseless allegations against Shareefs, but he went on to target Shaukat Khanum Memorial Hospital -which is one of its kind in the whole world, and provides free of cost cancer remedy to the under privileged patients- , the journalists were all very curious that may be the documents possessed by Rasheed mention SKMH to be a Panama beneficiary as well, and they might have missed it. But their curiosity turned sour when Parvez Rasheed presented a false document on SKMH which stated that SKMH lost millions of dollars of fund in investment abroad.

On lighter note: tweeps started a trend on twitter #SKMHvsPANAMA to lighten up the day of their fellow tweeps.

Rehman Malik, a senior statesman of Pakistan People’s Party, on the other hand labelled the leaks as a RAW(Indian Intelligence Agency) mega-scheme against him. Many of the journalists and anchors tried to raise Malik’s concern with the panel of their analysts, but much to their (and Malik’s) disappointment, nobody seemed interested in discussing it.

Hussain Nawaz, the son of Pakistani premier and the main accused of the Panama leaks, competed well with the other amazing defenses. In response to a question from a renowned journalist Shahzeb khanzada about the worth of his companies and the initial seed money, he responded by comparing this question to equivalent of asking a married couple about their sexual life. “These figures are very personal to every business, and I am entitled to be discrete about them”, he further added. Khanzada seemed a bit confused to the idea that why all the other businesses were revealing their numbers so proudly and openly if this was such a secret matter, however Hussain insisted on not discussing the numbers.

Rana Sana Ullah, the ex law minister of punjab -who was sacked by the chief minister earlier- also defended his party leader. His argument was that these papers are false and have no legitimacy or credibility. Similar response was given by him when Punjab police shot 14 people, including a pregnant woman in capital city of the province Lahore back in 2015 summer.

The second best response in this regard was of the premier himself who while delivering a speech to the nation said “Those who are involved in corrupt practices have two qualities. They hide their taxes, and their property is not in their names”. Journalists across the country found this response to be quite ironic, as both of these qualities were depicted by the premier himself and his family.

The crown response however is from the provincial assembly of Punjab, which passed a resolution by clear majority, declaring Panama leaks as “Satanic Leaks”.

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Children of conspiracy

We as a nation are strong believers of conspiracy. Its not our hobby, its not our passion but it is our belief system. We are never ready to give a slightest chance to the possibility that we ourselves might be doing something wrong at some level.It is never this case, but its always someone else, somewhere in the world, hatching an inconspicuous plan against us.

When Malala was shot, it wasn’t the Taliban who shot her -even though they accepted the responsibility- but it was her father who staged all this drama to malign Pakistan and its habitats. When Mukhtara Mai was raped , it was all a plot to get famous and deteriorate the image of Pakistan in international community. When Hamid mir was shot (or was he ?) it was his and GEO’s game plan to slander ISI: the intelligence agency of Pakistan.When Mama Qadir walked thousand of miles from Quetta to Islamabad, with children and women to get justice ,it was in reality a scheme to get attention and to ill-fame the country’s security agencies. And guess why did Sharmeen Obaid won the oscar ?  These are just few examples from within the country that exhibit our strong belief in mother conspiracy.

This is not just the case with general public- most of whom are not educated at all – but with our politicians as well. Fazlur rehman is such an impregnable believer of conspiracy that he can see a conspiracy in almost anything. Conspiracy to him is like  GOD, whose reflection you can witness in everything. Only he had the eye to see through Imran khan and recognize him as an agent of MOSAD: Israel’s intelligence agency ,even ISI didn’t have a clue about him. Moreover not only Fazlur rehman recognized Imran khan himself, but was also able to convince his constituents of Khan’s real identity. Further more he also declared that whoever voted for Imran khan would become a non believer, for obvious reasons of course.

Imran khan on the other hand is not any less of a believer. He himself has been victimized plenty of times by outside hands. It is really difficult to count the number of incidents of him being victimized, so I can just name only a few in this paragraph. The top on the list would be the 35 Punctures by Sethi- which he couldn’t even prove in the court- , GEO conspiring against him before elections, Justice Iftikhar and a number of army generals conspiring against him and etc .

Same is the case with N-league, PPP and MQM. By the way even after 60 years of creation of Pakistan, the establishment has still not learned any lessons and is still trying to conspire against muhajireen’s descendants.

On the other hand in media Mubashar Luqman has a  conspiracy to reveal in every talk show. And the one and only Dr.Shahid masood has a lot of secret tapes, that unfortunately he cannot produce because he cares too deeply about his sources, and of course it wouldn’t be wise to hurt their trust. This guy would take a bullet for them, and the reason I can say so is because he didn’t  produce them even when the courts ordered him to do so.

I think its time that we open our eyes and see the world as it is. Its true that we have enemies who try to harm us, but this doesn’t mean that we have to shut down our eyes to our own sins. Only overcoming our own weaknesses can make us stronger enough to face the external threats.

 

 

 

 

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Donald J Trump

All my life from the childhood I have been listening to the people giving examples of democracy in USA. Our politicians (majority of them) are crooks and there is no doubt about it, but without even knowing anything about the American political system I always had this image of the USA being a democratic utopia. USA was a world for me where all the politicians were honest, law abiding, subtle, gentlemen and loyal to their country.

It was around 2011 when I started to have my political awakening. It was Imran khan’s boom that let many a non-political youth like me to take interest in politics. As the interest developed I started to follow politics all around the globe.

From 2011 to 2013 internal politics of Pakistan kept me occupied and as you all know the best time for political fans is around the election dates, I didn’t have a chance to follow American elections of 2012.

Then came 2016 when the fight for party candidacy started in USA. I was really excited to know about the real democratic systems and to see, observe and learn from the true politicians. I thought it would open a new dimension for me, I would be able to compare our politicians with the Utopian politicians and would be able to know where in our system the improvement is required. Unfortunately I was utterly disappointed.

During the 2013 general elections in Pakistan I continuously used to observe the following problems in our political structure.

  • No accountability of candidates.
  • Politicians exploited hate in masses.
  • Politics of personal attacks became a virtuous act.
  • Less focus on policy discussions and more on personal attacks.
  • Big unrealistic promises.
  • Cheap language.
  • Different media houses aligned with different parties.

Now these are only a few problems that I can recall on the top of my head.

After following the American elections I came to the conclusion that these problems are not unique to third world countries. Let’s compare the above problems in both countries.

In Pakistan you have Shareefs and Zardaris hiding their taxes and in US you have Trumps doing the same.

In Pakistan conservative religious parties blame everything on West, Jews and their lobbies and in US the conservatives blame it all on Muslims.

In Pakistan wives of the candidates are maligned and so are in US.

In Pakistan and US both the debates revolve around throwing dirt on the opposite candidate.

In Pakistan you get the promises to finish corruption in 3 months and in US you get the promise of “the big wall” and total ban on Muslims.

In Pakistan you use abusive language and in US you do the same.

In Pakistan you have GEO channel vs ARY, In US you have FOX news vs CNN.

This all makes me wonder if we really are any different from each other. I have no trust in US politicians anymore, but I still believe that the majority of their general public is more educated than us and they will make a good choice in this election. But at the same time I am also afraid that this last ray of hope would also be lost if they choose Donald J Trump as their president. Because if you learn one thing from the history of the world, it is that hate mongers can never make your future better. 

 

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